Five years ago, I was peacefully sleeping on a Sunday morning when I was woken up by my roommate at that time, a good friend, Yuri Birchwood. "Wake up man, something's up at the towers," he said to my ear. I lazily opened my eyes and asked, "What?" He shrugged and said, "Plane, apparently."

So off I went to his 16^th floor balcony of a red-brick apartment building in Stuyvesant Town, Lower East Side. This particular balcony of his faced down town, where the twin towers were.  I sat down, had coffee, smoked a cigarette, and proceeded to chuckle and joke merrily at the stupidity of the pilot who managed to drive his plane into one of the largest, most recognized buildings in the world. It was a typical scene of two jaded New Yorkers having breakfast while watching catastrophe unfold.

Needless to say, our merriment ended the moment the second aircraft hit the building. We just sort of looked at each other and whispered, "Shit." It was 11 September 2001. 9/11.

From that moment on, the numbers "9/11" became an iconic symbol of tragedy, terror, and hate. Of courage and sacrifice. Of professionalism. Most of all, 9/11 symbolizes change. The moment that second plane impacted, I knew I was looking at a deliberate attack. I knew that thousands would probably die (although I didn't know that the towers would collapse), and most profoundly, I knew that the world I lived in would never be the same again. I realized that moment that I was looking at the opening shots of World War III.

That was five years ago. The shock of the event is gone for me, although perhaps not so for the families of those who died. But something still lingers. That profound sadness I felt. For the victims, of course, but also for the future. After the fall of the Soviet Union, everyone thought that the world would at least be more peaceful. No more super blocks ready to lob ballistic missiles at each other. The threat of World War III all but faded away, and what wars still to be fought would be localized. In Africa, perhaps, or the Middle East between the Arabs and the Israelis. But that Sunday morning changed everything.

So, what changed? Where are we now, five years from that dreadful day? The BBC ran a little interesting commentary, interviewing people's points of view about the changes that happened around them. One interesting quote came from Ziauddin Sardar, a London-based writer and academic. A couple interesting quotes from his viewpoint said,"… Muslims have been looking at their faith much more critically and asking which tenets of Islam are axiomatic, and which can be changed or reformed..." These tenets include, "…issues such as the meaning and significance of the Sharia in the 21st century are now being seriously examined. Also the desirability of a theocratic "Islamic state" - the dominant idea of the late 20th century - is being questioned." A particularly interesting comment ran as follows, "…should the authority for reinterpretation of the Koran for contemporary times be limited to a handful of scholars or should it be democratized?"

The above mentioned sentiment, undoubtedly, leads to some reflections. The 'questioning Muslim' in my view, is a utopian dream that had not appeared, least of all after 9/11. I myself used to defend Islam. When anti-Islam sentiments arose, I used to say, "It's not the religion, it's the people that's at fault." My favorite defense came in the form of an explanation. "My country's Islam is different. Our brand of Islam is tolerant. We do not reject diversity, we embrace it. We embrace all people under the sun as neighbors." That particular defense, and all other like it as well as any other defenses are now rendered hollow by the actions of Muslims themselves. When the BBC ran several footages of Muslims in Palestine as well as Java exulting and celebrating the attacks, I found myself, for the first time, ashamed that I was once part of those people.

After 9/11, Islam revealed itself, or perhaps found itself, to be the enemy. Muslim governments around the world sent in their condolences and condemnations of the attacks, only to have their efforts dashed by throngs of Muslims celebrating the deaths of almost 3,000 people openly in the streets. The division of cultures became more profound. The stretched relationship that existed previously in several European countries (mostly due to the inability, or rather the unwillingness, of the Muslim immigrant societies there to blend in with the rest of the country) reached their flaming point.

Indeed Muslims seem to revel in this radicalism. Indonesia, for the longest time the bastion of moderate Islam, revealed herself to be in the clutches of Talibanization, with the MUI rejecting, and even issuing a fatwa condemning, pluralism and relativism. Gangs of roving Muslims roam the cities with impunity. Administering their own sharia justice, to whomever they choose, with their own subjective views. 9/11 did not cause the Muslims to reevaluate their faith in the scripture and the words of the local mullahs, it merely strengthened it to the point of radicalism.

Interestingly enough, the other side went through some changes as well. In some ways, they are eerily similar. The United States, for instance, under the Patriot Act, banned demonstrations against the President except in designated 'free-speech zones.' The patriot act also allowed the surveillance of the individual citizens that were suspected of 'endangering national security.' The fanaticism and radicalization of the Right Wing in the U.S. was profound, at least for the first 3-4 years after 9/11. Nowadays, thankfully, progressive elements had begun to take over. But the changes remain. In the Western world, Islam is seen to be an evil shadow looming over the freedom of free-thinking people. In the Islamic world, the West is despised with more vehemence, due to their actions in Afghanistan (which I support to this date) and in Iraq (which is a cluster-fuck on Bush's side).

All of a sudden, people like me, my friends, most everyone else, found ourselves in a war. The latest 'Great War'.  World War III is finally here. Unlike the fears of the cold war, where it was assumed that WWIII would be fought in conventional battles with nations lobbing nuclear bombs at each other, this war is fought in the mind most of all, with the battles, the bombs, and the victims serving mostly as interesting side-notes. It's a gigantic clash of ideas.

The traditional lines of separation were shredded to pieces. Lines of race and skin color, for instance, gave way to a great division by ideology. A clash, I fear, that will never end. Ideas could very rarely be eradicated.

Five years on, we found ourselves desperately trying to survive, to remain free, in a world that is progressively anti-freedom. The clash brought about by the right wings of both sides caused compromises in the basic freedom and decency of humanity. 9/11 seemed to teach humanity no other lessons but continued violence and the need to survive by any means. The old ideas of utopian pluralism and acceptance, even peaceful coexistence, were dashed against the hard rock of radicalism and totalitarianism. The prevalent sense of 'us' and 'them' had never been more pronounced.

Now, thoughts are even regulated. It is sinful, for instance, to think in 'certain ways'. It is unpatriotic to question the government. It is anti Islam to question the cleric and the jihad.

The above mentioned sentiment of Mr. Sardar's does not seem to happen at all. Interpretation of scripture and national creeds seemed to be more and more firmly the exclusive rights of a few individuals who had taken upon themselves to think for the rest of humanity. With us being told to just do what we were told. The tenets of freedom were being scoffed as 'western and kaffir' by the Muslims, and 'unpatriotic' by the Americans. To speak one's mind was 'unprofitable', 'unethical', and 'unacceptable'. 9/11 hardened the radicals and softened the progressives. Creativity is dead, replaced by fear. Individuality was killed, replaced by the collective dream. Children were born to slavery without their parents even knowing what they've done. Humanity is more divided now, than ever before, albeit in larger groups.

And we continue in our daily lives, oblivious, working for our cash, our dreams, not knowing that those dreams had ended before we even began. And most of us refused to fight, choosing merely to be silent and safe. 'Moderate' Muslims spewed forth their disagreement with the ways of the radicals, and yet never do anything real to stop them. Activists and 'freedom loving people' supported decidedly tyrannical methods in the name of 'national security'. As a species, we're dying.

9/11 had brought the best of humanity, followed closely by the worst. It taught no lessons, gave no wisdom, left no lasting legacy other than hatred. The dreadful day continued to this day. And the war does not end. Both sides are winning, we are losing.